I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
