On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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