I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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