I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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