I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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