I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
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