I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
