I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
