I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
