bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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