He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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