Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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