My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize