very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
