farters have to be the big spoon...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
