I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i think i just lost a toe
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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