I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
