I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I would ride that face into the sunset
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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