White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dignity is for republicans.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
