Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
