I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Randomize
