This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
they need to just BURY HIM!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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