jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
