He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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