My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
