I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
