If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
