I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
