Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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