This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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