My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
