giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
