help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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