Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
