Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
