omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
