i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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