i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
