im drinking this country out of the recession.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
