They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
