Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
