I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just had sex bonerless
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
