I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't deserve a penis
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
