the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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