Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
