I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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