Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
