My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
