Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
