Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize