I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
