garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
