Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
