i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
