Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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