is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
