Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
