I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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